Madonna/ American Life/ Checken

[!!Ich!!]

Kann sich das bitte jemand durchlesen? Es hadelt sich um den amerikanischen Traum! Also würde mich sehr freunen!

The American goes regularly to the church. He has luck and thereby earns a lot of money. This is the American dream. At the beginning of the song Madonna asks what they for the American dream should act. Should she change her name? Should she become thinner? Does she help this? Does she thereby become a star and does earn a lot of money? Will she live then the American dream?

a) She thinks that she lives the American dream. She has many employees. She has a lot of money. She has reached this what many Americans want, but she is not happy, nevertheless, of your money. She has begriefen nothing is like it seems.
b) the song tells the history about Madonnas career. She tried to become many ways around a star. She wanted the morderne life, however, as them it had you did not become conscious that the morderene life for them is. When she was still quite normal, she was happy. Later she has many employees and a lot of money, however, them was no more happy. Madonna has never gone to the church, now still she realizes the dream. Now the only one what she is white that nothing at all as is as it seems.

Show business is very hard. It is very difficult to come in business. Nevertheless, indeed, one has of all material one is not happy.

Also ich würde mich sehr freuen!

[minze]

Hi

hier mein Korrekturvorschlag

The American regularly goes to the church. He is lucky and therefore earns a lot of money. This is the American dream. At the beginning of the song Madonna asks/wonders how they should act for the American dream. Should she change her name? Should she become thinner? Will this help her? Does she thereby become a star and will earn a lot of money? Will she live then the American dream?

a) She thinks that she does (Hervorhebung) live the American dream. She has many employees. She has a lot of money. She has reached this what many Americans want, but she is not happy, nevertheless, of your money(??? ). She has begriefen (Du meinst : understood)nothing is like it seems.

b) The song tells the story(history nur im Zusammenhang mit der Weltgeschichte) about Madonna's career. She has tried to become a star in many ways. She wanted the modern life, however, as them it had you did not become conscious that the morderene life for them is (??? kleiner Wirrwarr). When she still was quite normal, she was really happy. Later she had many employees and a lot of money, however, then she was no longer happy. Madonna has never gone to the church, now still she realizes the dream. Now the only one what she is white that nothing at all as is as it seems (???).

Konnte leider nicht alles korrigieren, da öfters die Sätze etwas wirr gebildet sind, achte auch auf die Stellung der Adverbien und den Satzbau. Wenn du üben möchtest findest auf www.ego4u.de unter Grammatik diese Themen.

LG Minze

[Oli]

The song tells the story about Madonna's career.

Ich würde eher "story of ..." sagen.

mfg oli

[minze]

Hi Oli

about wird benutzt, um über eine Sache zu berichten (somit richtig ),
of wird benutzt, um darüber auszusagen, woraus etwas besteht,z.B. made of wood, made of cotton... usw.


LG Minze

[Oli]

alles klar...

aber da fällt mir grade noch was ein:

story about = Sache
story of = Person

mfg oli

[Sebastian]

Hi minze,

bei deiner Korrektur hast du anscheinend vergessen, ein Paar Wörter nach der Umstellung zu löschen!

At the beginning of the song Madonna asks/wonders how they for should act for the American dream.
[..]
She has tried to become many a star in many ways.

Übrigens kenn ich "Geschichte über jemanden.." auch nur als "a story of sb. .."

mfg Seb

[minze]

Thx, Sebastian, für deine Nachkorrektur


LG Minze

[minze]

Geändert.